Reflections... Or maybe "Ramblings"??

Why is it that I only write on this thing like once a year? It's quite shameful if you ask me, so I thought I would type up something that I wrote in my journal a few days ago... Assuming anyone actually reads this, you might be happy to see that I'm actually posting something!

On this, the 2nd day of the new year, I thought I should stop to write a bit and make some reflections. It has been so long since I've taken the time to just stop and think and write. So many things have happened and yet it all seems as if everything is still the same. Well, almost everything. Thoughts still swirl in my head constantly. Life is still passing by in a blur, ready to make it to some unknown point in the future that no one has seen or known. And decisions still pop up constantly, along with the fear of "what if I've chosen wrong?" So I guess life is, in fact, as it as always been. But this year brings a new twist - graduation - and all of the excitement and uncertainty that goes along with it. Where will I go? What will I become? Or, rather, who? But perhaps I'm jumping a little ahead of myself. Perhaps my time is better spent on exploring the here and now so that I can better determine the future... or at least take a little of the fear and anxiety out of it. So that's what I'll do. Here goes.

Time. Ever present, yet ever gone. Every minute flying by faster than the one before. Or so it seems. Four years ago I was contemplating graduation at Ozarks and pharmacy school interviews, and today I am facing my upcoming graduation yet again. Four years ago I lost my dad. Where has the time gone? You know, they say that time changes people. I think this is true. I'm not the person I was 8 years ago when I first left home. Heck, I'm not the same person I was even 1 year ago. So many changes - some good, some bad - but all part of the process of making me who I am. And I don't regret any of it. Yes, there are some changes that I would like to make (and un-do) as time continues its never-ending trek onward, but I can never regret the changes of the past. To regret them would be to regret myself. And I just can't do that. And worse, I would be regretting God - a thing which can NEVER be done. But time will continue on... and so shall I. And to be honest, I'm really quite excited to see what new changes it will bring.

Goals. What, exactly, does this mean? What, exactly, are "goals"? Everyone talks about this goal or that goal (especially at this time of year), and I understand the concept of having something to work for and toward, but what are goals? Most of the time they encompass our own desires and wishes - our plan. I can't say that I don't have goals. I would be lying if I did. Graduation, residency, career, family... these are all "goals" (or desires). But when we set these goals, do we really stop and think about the fact that it's really not about us (me)? Our plans don't really amount to much, except maybe for comedic purposes as God sits back and laughs at our pathetic attempts at making a "wonderful" life ('cause we all love to be "in control") while He knows exactly what He has in store for us (because He is really the One in control) - a life that is so far beyond anything we could ever cook up for ourselves. Okay, so maybe he doesn't sit back and laugh (except at me because I really do like to try to control things that are not even remotely in my control)... but you get the picture. I am one of the worst at getting angry when things don't work as I plan. And most times I don't stop to remember Jeremiah 29:11 and thank God for making things turn out differently. Perhaps the only goal I should really have should be to remember that God has bigger and better things for me than even I can imagine. So my new goal - let God lead me in His plan and stop deluding myself. I mean, I know He sets desires in our hearts to keep us going in the direction He would have us go, so my "goals" (desires) are not void, but on a deeper level I need to remember that it's not all about me; rather, it is about God. Always has been and always will be. The question now is: Do my goals line up with God's? How do I reconcile the two? But perhaps this is better left for later, to be answered after some good soul searching.

Love. Ah, the ever-elusive, always-sought-after emotion. That's what it is, isn't it? An emotion? Something you feel? Something that makes your heart beat a little faster, your palms sweaty? Not at all. Well, yes, these are some physiological manifestations that we, as humans, experience when we are in "romantic" love (or, dare I say, "lust" for many of us) thanks to our brains and all of the little chemicals stored up in them. But really, what is love? Many of us spend our lives searching for "love" and yet never truly know what it means (the true meaning, not the physical feelings). I sure don't know a good, solid definition of love. But I do know that it is more selfless than I am. Love is patient, kind, not proud or jealous, and easily forgets wrongs (paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). I don't know about anyone else, but I surely am not the embodiment of love if we stop here. But we read on: Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and never gives up. Now these are things that I am a little more familiar with. But regardless of the definition, why do we spend so much time and effort trying to find that which we already have? It's sitting right there waiting for us to take hold of it and embrace true love for all it's worth. What greater love could be found than the love Christ showed as he laid down his life for you and I? I'm guilty of forgetting this so often. I allow loneliness to grab hold of me and find myself wondering if I'll ever be loved. Forget that I have a family and friends who love me... I want a man! (I know all the single ladies will agree with me) But for what?? So that he can try to fill a void in my life that is too big for him to even begin to fill? Isn't this what most of us are looking for? Maybe I've become too cynical, or maybe realistic... but there will never be a man good enough to fulfill every need for me. And that's the way it should be, if you ask me. God is enough. Only He can satisfy my every need.

So why is it so hard to remember this? Why is it so easy for the loneliness to creep in and take over?

Relationships. They come in all different forms. Those we have with friends and family. Others with acquaintances. Each one is unique. Each one comes with its own mask (for a later discussion), its own part/role to play. I'm a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, friends, roommate, student, woman. Every role is different even though they do overlap. It looks different, sounds different. But one thing is the same in every relationship - I am imperfect. I'm not always going to be the perfect family member. In fact, 9 times out of 10 I will probably be the pain in the backside that everyone tolerates because it's what families do. I'm not always going to be the best friend. And that's OK. It's hard to say that, being the perfectionist and people-pleaser that I am. But really, it's ok. I am me. Just like the other parties in my relationships will not be perfect. Sure, my expectations for perfection are absolutely outrageous and unrealistic. And as such, are always going to cause me to be somewhat disappointed no matter the circumstance (mostly in myself, somewhat in the other person)... but this is just part of who I am. I am moody, exhausted, and stressed most of the time, hyper sometimes, and a perfectionist all of the time but I am fiercely loyal and caring and that's enough. Well, I assume it is, anyway, since my friends still stick around.... Hahahahaha!

I guess the point to all of my rambling is just that I am who God made me to be, for the most part. And I am striving daily to become more and more the woman that He wants me to be. But I need to remember that it's not about me. God's plans are so much better than mine could ever be. And He knows exactly what He's doing when he places new people and keeps "old" people (no, I'm not talking about age) in my life. It's all one giant circle, really. Everything working together toward one united purpose - to bring God the glory and to shine a light into the world for His Kingdom. That's really all it's about - furthering the Kingdom so that one day when we're all together in Paradise it will be a huge party... Hey, a girl's gotta hope that someday there will be a time to stop and rock out!

Another year comes to a close...

So, I made it. I am officially a P4 (assuming I don't get a phone call next week from the AR State Board of Pharmacy saying I failed my law exam). I don't mean to sound negative, but that exam was more difficult than I expected. Oh well, what's done is done and I can't go back, only forward. I can't say that much has happened in the year since I last posted a blog. I've not done much of anything that could be considered "exciting". My life has been a mixture of sleep (when I could get it), eating (when I remembered), going to class, and studying. Oh the studying... and the exams. I would be lying if I said I would miss the exams. I WILL miss the people, though. We are all going our separate ways for our rotations in our final year. Yes, I will see some of my classmates from time to time, but it will never be the same. I'm secretly glad, and sad at the same time. It's just another hurdle before the next phase of our lives, so I guess it's a point for celebration.

The past 3 years in Pharmacy school have been unlike any in my life. Never have I been on such a roller coaster of emotion. Up and down, day after day. "Ace" one exam; fail the next. But isn't this what it's all about? Teaching us that it's ok to fail at something as long as we learn from it? Because, at some point, we have all "failed" at something. Ok, so maybe it's not the typical "you made an F on an exam" for everyone (yes, I've been there more than once), but at some point we've all fallen short of our own expectations, and that can be much worse than any "F". I don't know of any person in my group of friends who have not, at least once, questioned why they were in school. Why did we choose this profession? Yes, the promise of the money in the end is one thing, but is it enough? No. We all use the general "I want to help people", but do any of us really believe that? I'm not sure... I said that, and thought I meant it. But until this past year, I don't think I really believed it. I honestly think that I was going through the curriculum just because I knew I could make it (even though I kept trying to convince myself that it was too hard, that I couldn't do it anymore, yada, yada, yada). Better yet, I knew that I was going through this rigor because this was the door that God had opened up for me. And blindly believing that if He opens a door, He will make a way for me to get through it. Not that it would be easy, but I would come through all of the trials, the stress, long nights, lack of sleep, all of it a better person.

I say I didn't really believe that I wanted to help people until this past year, and that is one of the truest statements I think I've ever made. I felt like giving up so many times. I've been so tired of the up-and-down emotions that I can't seem to get away from (and that's another post in and of itself). And kept asking "Why????" And then I started volunteering at a free clinic in North Little Rock with one of the ladies I work with at Poison Control. Seeing the patients who have so little, who live in such poverty, and who are so grateful for the smallest help they receive opened my eyes. We are all called to reach out to those around us. We are called to take care of those who have less than us, who are hurting, and who have noone else. Until now, I didn't understand why I was put in this place for this season of my life. Now I understand. These are the people I can reach out to. These are the people I can embrace and do everything within my power to help. Forget putting me in a busy retail store with customers yelling because it takes longer than 15 minutes to fill a prescription when there are a dozen customers waiting as well. I will gladly take a "3rd world country"-style clinic, where the technology isn't the newest and best, where medications might be hard to come by, where everyone is volunteering and almost always has a smile, and the patients are ok with having to wait a little bit longer to get the medicines they need. This is why I am here.

So in all of the rambling, there is but one conclusion. As this, my 3rd year in pharmacy school, comes to a close, I have finally discovered my purpose for being in this profession. It is right on track with that wonderful cliche, "I want to help people". A few years ago, while at Youth Camp in Houston, someone spoke words to me that I thought I understood at the time to mean one thing, but it has come to my realization that I was totally wrong. To paraphrase, "You have a great love of people. God is going to show you how to love in a totally new, radical way". This is my new, radical way of loving... If this is where He's brought me, I must see it through and walk with Him through to it's completion. Oh yes, I have a choice, but this is what I choose. Otherwise, what was the point?

A Year Later...

So it's been a year since I was in Ecuador (and since I blogged anything). What can I say? I'm a busy girl... Anyway, life is crazy and hectic as always. Part of me longs to be back in Ecuador, where things were more relaxed and life was not so fast-paced. As much as I wanted to be back home, when I left there a part of my heart was left behind. The people I met, the beauty around me, all kept a small piece of me with them. Sometimes I catch a scent in a breeze that sends me back. Granted, the scent isn't as pure as it would be in Ecuador, but it's close enough to invoke memories. I think I can almost imagine the clear blue skies in my mind... and then I look at pictures and realize that even my memory can't capture the true essence of that place. And I know that the pictures don't even do it justice. Oh how I wish I could go back there today... but I must wait at least a year for that (assuming I can go in a year).

More than just the random memories that I have, it's as though my soul longs to be surrounded by that beauty again. And I don't mean just the plants, trees, sky, etc. Every person I came into contact with was so beautiful, from the inside out. Never have I met more welcoming, inviting people. It's as though the heart of God was truly shining through every person I met. And that's almost an oddity in today's world. So many people are focused only on themselves (me included) and how they feel that they forget to love. We seem to have a monopoly on loving ourselves... but it stops there. And then I begin to question if our love of self is really true love... meaning, how can you love yourself fully if you don't love God and allow God to love you? And if you can't love God and can't allow Him to love you, how can you love anyone around you? Wouldn't you be flowing over with love, grace, and mercy because God pours all these upon us when we let him? Perhaps it's just that the people in Ecuador weren't as concerned with money and status and wealth that they could see the simplicity in relying on God to provide all that is needed. And in so doing, they have opened themselves up to a more true existence than either you or I could have.

Ok, so I got off on a random tangent there... I tend to do that at times. I guess, on a deeper level, these thoughts have been running through my mind lately. I've been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and it opens up a lot of thought processes that I've overlooked so many times. I've come to the realization that I'm one of the types of people who don't know how to fully trust and rely on God's provisions. I have to know that I'm secure in whatever aspect... I guess, I am a control freak. This is no surprise to anyone who knows me; and I've known it for quite some time. But I never knew the full extent until I really took a look at my recent actions. Instead of trusting in God to provide financially, I go over my budget a million times, trying to figure out if I can fanagle things. Instead of trusting in God's promises, I worry and fret over things not yet to be. Is this just an instance of the "I'm human" defect? Or is it a deeper problem with a tough solution? I guess the only thing I can do is change my way of thinking and begin trusting that God is the God he says he is, that He'll provide my every need (maybe not all of my wishes, but definitely my needs), and that what He's said will come to pass (after all, God is not a man that He should lie...).

Zamora, Catamayo, El Cisne

So, last week I went to the Amazonian region, known as Zamora Chinchipe. The drive was so beautiful! As we continued to travel, the plant life changed to more tropical ferns and that sort of thing. Then we start passing small waterfalls. Unfortunately, they came up suddenly and we were driving so I was unable to take pictures of them. But when we came across the waterfall that's in this picture, known as Velo de Novia (Bride's veil), there was a place to stop on the side of the road. So we all got out of the truck and took pictures. This is actually only half of the waterfall, I couldn't get it all in one picture. But it was absolutely magnificent! After taking the picture, we contined driving for a while. When we made it to Zamora Chinchipe, we ate and all of that lol... The weather there was very nice. It was warmer and a little bit more humid, but not bad at all. Then it started to rain, and didn't stop until we made it back to Loja at around 6 pm or so.

This was a picture I took while we were driving through Zamora looking for a particular plant. This old house looked abandoned, but it has a certain charm to it that I couldn't resist. You can also see the banana or plantano trees and ferns. Absolutely gorgeous! Unfortunately, one of the plants we were looking for we were unable to get to because there was a huge mudslide about 2 km away from the site, and we were unable to pass. I have pictures of that, but forgot to put them on here. Sorry about that. You can see them on facebook if you have one, or you can wait until I get back to look at them :)

Saturday I went to Catamayo with Paola and her sister, Yadira. We went to a big park there, and I took this next picture at the lake that is part of the park.

Catamayo was very nice. The temperature was probably in the upper 70's or lower 80's, but it was a dry heat, so it wasn't too bad. Yes, I got a little hot, but it was nothing like AR! We also went to a water park where we ate lunch. The picture below was of a dish that is called "Cesina". Catamayo is famous for its cesina. I must say, it was very delicious! It's pork, but didn't taste like any pork I've ever eaten, so that was definitely a plus. And if you'll notice the size of the portion, this was what they call "media", or half. I would hate to see what a full portion looks like. Needless to say, I wasn't able to finish all of it, but I sure tried!

After lunch, we headed to a place called El Cisne. This village is known for its Basilica that houses the Virgen (a small statue of the Virgen Mary). Every year in August, people from all over South America come and the Virgen is carried from El Cisne to Catamayo, then from Catamayo to Loja, a trip that is about 2-3 hours by car. The kicker is that these people WALK the entire trip. Through the mountains! Crazy! But I guess, not being a Catholic, there are some things that I will never completely understand. Anywho, while we were there, clouds started rolling in (I think we were 2800 m up?). It was absolutely gorgeous watching them come in. The picture below shows the clouds in the village. It was so cool!

I think one of the things that I will miss when I leave here is the different things that I've never seen. If that makes any sense at all.... For instance, the clouds rolling in, much like fog would at home. But knowing that it's just the clouds because we're so far up in the atmosphere. Or all of the waterfalls and plantlife. Arkansas is beautiful, there's no doubting that. But this is a different kind of beautiful altogether. Breath-taking and magnificent. A place that could only have been created by a Divine Creator who knew exactly what would take my breath away at this very moment. A God who is a wonderful Artist. I thank God for my time here. It's coming to a close very soon. I start my journey home in 10 days. I am happy and excited to be coming back home. But also very sad to leave such a paradise. Bittersweet is the only word I can use to describe the emotion.

2nd trip out to the field

So my second trip out into the countryside took me to a place called Chuquiribamba. The mountains were absolutely gorgeous! The weather was perfect: slight breeze, a few clouds, no rain!!!! And the temperature was a lovely 60-something. Anyway, there were a few little villages along the way that we passed through. Let me tell you, the houses were so tiny! I honestly don't think I could have been able to walk through the door of any of them without crouching down, let alone stand up inside the houses. I think by US standards, this would be considered extreme poverty, but the people here live off the land, so they don't need much. I guess that's one of the perks to a less money-driven society. Anyway, we collected a few aromatic plants. The lab I'm working in also uses these aromatic plants to make essential oils that they sell locally. Some of them smell so delicious! They have limon, naranja dulce (sweet orange), and cypress, to name a few. It usually smells just wonderful when they're extracting the oils out of the plants.

Anyway, we were out all day, so that was cool. When we got back, I learned how to make the plant vouchers - where they dry the plants for cataloguing and identification. That takes forever and it's very tedious. I didn't want to mess it up, so I let Vladimir (the guy showing me) fix them all. I would hate to leave with the stigma of "person who messed up the plant vouchers". But then again, I'm a perfectionist, so maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. Perhaps next time lol.

3:30 am

3:30 am... this is what time God keeps waking me up in the morning. I don't know why. And I'll confess, most nights I get frustrated and try to go back to sleep, which is futile. So I end up sleeping like poop and tossing and turning most of the rest of the time until my alarm goes off at 6:30. I also keep having weird dreams, like the one I posted. Last night before bed I was reading in Daniel about King Neb's dreams and Daniel's interpreting them. I wish I had an interpreter to call on when I have my random dreams. But instead, I rely on God to ultimately show me the meanings. Anyway, I was awakened again at 3:30 this morning. But there was definitely no trying to go back to sleep. Ok, so I tried until about 4 or so. Then I gave up and decided that I had to do something. Obviously God was trying to get my attention. So I just started praying. I had no clue what to pray about, but words just started coming. After some length of time, I have no clue how long, I finally felt sleep trying to woo me back. So at that point I just asked God that if it was alright to go back to sleep, would He give me such wonderful rest that could only be from Him, given the past week or so. Thank God for that! I slept so wonderfully and was so rested this morning when my alarm went off. I think that in those 2-ish hours I slept better than I had since I got to Ecuador. I'm no longer in a cranky mood (thank the Lord for that one, too!). And, in a weird way, I'm looking forward to tonight's 3:30 lol.... I know, I'm an odd one :)

My Dream... Your Feedback, Please???

Ok, so I had a strange dream last night. Read it, please, and tell me what your opinions are.

It was set in a huge, nice, beautiful house that was at least 3 stories tall, full of little hidden rooms and was absolutely gorgeous inside. Ok, so it starts out that i'm in this house. and it doesn't feel like my house at first, like i'm housesitting. and there are a ton of doors that lead to the outside, and i think all of them are locked, but people start coming in them and they won't leave, as hard as i try to make them to. and when i lock one door, another becomes unlocked and more people come in. well, i end up with a house full of children, and a few adults. i think maybe they were supposed to be on a field trip or something. and it gets dark and they can't leave for some reason, so i tell them that they can just stay the night in my house (it's that big). and my aunt marlene happens to be there too. lord only knows why. anyway, so the little boy who is about 7 or 9 is crying and i'm talking to him and i ask if he wants to sleep in my bed that night, since he didn't want to sleep alone and he nodded, with tears running down his face.
So then the dream switches to the next morning (3:30 am) and i wake up and am walking through the house checking on everyone. then it switches to later, after sunrise. and it's christmas eve morning, and everyone's starting to wake up and move around, so i'm walking through the house to see if anyone needs anything and looking into all of the rooms and it fills my heart with joy to see everyone waking up refreshed and cheerful. then i go back to the living area and look outside and there's a guy walking around the house that i've never seen before, and i go out to ask who he is and what he wants, and he said that he was just happy that he was finally able to walk through without any resistance from anyone. (strange, i know) and then i'm talking to him (don't remember what it was about) when i hear a piano playing "Amazing Grace" and a violin starts playing. well by this time, one of the guests (a man) had come out to talk with me and the stranger, and i asked who was playing the violin. the woman with the children was playing the piano on the 3rd floor of the house, which was partly open with a garden or something in it. and the male guest says that it was his brother (don't remember his name) and i started crying. it was that beautiful.
So then we went back inside, cuz it was cold outside, and i wanted to talk to the man and woman who were playing the instruments. and to check on everyone. when i got inside, the stranger had disappeared, and it had started to snow, that beautiful, soft lazy snow, and i remember saying to everyone there that it was a Christmas miracle. then i woke up.
It was very detailed. i remember how the rooms looked. how the bathroom looked. the layout of the house, for the most part. I even remember looking up to the top of the house and seeing the piano and the man with the violin and the little boy with his light brown shaggy hair and tears.

Sorry for the uncapitalized things... When I am writing down something from memory, I have to write and don't usually take time to check what i'm doing. Anyway, give me your thoughts and feedback, please? I would greatly appreciate it!

Pet Peeves

Ok, so I know I have a lot of pet peeves. But the biggest ones I've encountered here have to do with the lab. I'm a very obsessive compulsive, neat freak kind of person and I'm courteous enough to put things back where they go when I use something. I also clean up after myself. It amazes me how many people are not like me.... I mean, seriously! One thing I like about labs in US is that they're small, only a few people work in them at one time, and everyone has their own place and people know not to mess with whatever is in that designated place. Well, that's not how it is here. Everything is fair game when you have a lab of 20+ people and not specific designated areas for anyone. I mean, yes, we all have our general areas, but it doesn't matter what you put in your own place, if someone wants what you have, they take it, regardless. Have I mentioned how much that just irks me? I at least ask if I can use something before I assume that I can. Maybe it's just the difference in the culture or something. I don't know. I just know that if I were not just a temporary worker here, I'd have some things to say, and I'm not sure they would be very nice, either. I hate having to hunt for things that I need, only to end up never finding it and having to improvise with something else that is way substandard. But 4 more weeks.... This is what I keep telling myself. 4 more weeks...

A Week's Worth of Random Thoughts and Comments

Wow, it’s only my second week here. It seems like it’s been so much longer. I guess that’s what you get when you allow yourself to miss home haha. By now you’ve probably figured out that my days are pretty much the same. I go to the lab in the morning, spend the day working on column chromatography and TLC plates, then come home to a lively household. It’s really nothing different. So, I will stop boring you with daily details. Instead, I’ll talk about random things that are out of the norm, at least for me lol. Anyway, Monday was my host mom’s birthday. I got home from the lab to find a house full of family and friends, loud music, and, of course, food. It seems like food is central to Latin American culture lol. It was a fun time. I met many new people, so that was fun. The party lasted well into the night. I had a fun time taking some pictures. J I can’t honestly say I felt in place at the party, but it wasn’t completely horrible lol. I don’t think I’ve seen such a lively bunch of middle-aged women in a long time. I think they had way more energy than I had; more rhythm too. But that’s to be expected. Don’t they say “white girl can’t dance”? lol… I’m living testimony to that one.
On the subject of food… I’ve never known people to eat so many sandwiches! I think sandwiches are breakfast and supper for most people, at least this is my experience. Not that they’re bad. In fact, I have gotten to where I crave the daggum things lol. I think it’s the cheese here. When the sandwich is toasted and the cheese is all melted… mmmmmm. I’m not sure what kind of cheese it is, perhaps some goat cheese? I don’t know. Whatever it is, I like it. Oh, Lojana pizza is amazing!!!!! So much better than the US. I think I might be spoiled! And authentic tamales are sooooo much better than the ones you get in most Mexican restaurants. I think it’s safe to say that the food is pretty good. Of course, there are the occasional meals that are, well, not the greatest. Like lunch on Tuesday – I had beans and franks and rice. That’s really what it boiled down to lol. But it was food, and I was hungry, so it sufficed. I’m sure there are more things in the future that I will try and either love or hate, so I’ll be sure to tell them to you.
I found out that a good salary here in Loja is around $10,000/year. Get up to $12,000-15,000 and you’re rolling in the money. I really can’t even fathom that! But then again, the cost of living is super cheap. For instance, a nice 3-bedroom apartment with a garage might cost $200/month, electricity bill and water bill combined is, at most, $30/month, and gas is cheap as well. There’s no central heat/air, so that saves money too. And food is extremely cheap. I got a 6-pack of Dasani bottled water (20 oz bottles) for just over $1. I think I could seriously see myself one day buying a house here as a vacation home or something. It’s really crazy!
Have I ever said how much I love hot showers? I didn’t really think about it before, but I haven’t had a good, steamy shower in 2 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely thankful that I can take a shower and that the water is not freezing cold. It’s just weird the things you miss. I’m also thankful for the good septic systems in the US. I’m thankful that we can flush toilet paper, and not have to put it in the trash. That is the biggest thing I’ve had to get used to while being here. I’m sure you wanted to know all that lol… but you wouldn’t have gotten the big picture had I not included it.

2nd Weekend

Thursday, June 4
I met the Chancellor of the University today! He is such a nice man (very talkative, too). He told me he was so happy and honored to have me here in Loja and that he hopes my stay here will open up doors for connection between Arkansas and Ecuador. I hope the same. J He made a comment while we were talking that I found rather good: “Dream Big. Run Fast. Work Together.” That is the key to success in this world, for today and for the future. And then, when Paola and I were about to leave, he brought me a gift. It was a ceramic tea/coffee set that students make there at the University! This is not a cheap gift. It surprised me so much! I think I was almost speechless lol. (That’s a first, I know)
Anyway, most of my day was spent in the lab. We did some TLC (thin-layer chromatography) and collected some more fractions from the column chromatography set-up. I know you probably read this and think “what the heck?” but I promise it’s not that hard. It’s just following a simple series of steps. But I like it. I love working with my hands and getting to the heart of the project.
Tonight I found out that my host mom’s birthday is this coming Monday. It’s so exciting! Ok, so I don’t know her well enough to know what to get her or anything, but I love celebrating other people’s birthdays. Mine, not so much… lol… Fun times! I think I get to talk to the head of the Pharmacy program here either tomorrow or sometime next week. I’m excited about comparing here with UAMS. I hope that maybe I can learn some things from her that I can take back home with me and share with my dean. And I also hope that maybe I can help to introduce some new concepts into the program here, too. I met the woman earlier this evening for a few minutes, but I was running one way and she was going another, so we didn’t get to speak for a long time. But that’s ok. J I also get to tour the UTPL Hospital at some point during my stay, which I’m sure will be fun. I’m interested in seeing the differences in medical practices. Am I a weirdo? Yes! Haha! And I love every minute of it!
Well, that’s the exciting day that I had. Not really much to speak of. Now I’m just relaxing, listening to some music and about to pick up “Completely His” again. It’s such a good book!

Saturday, June 6
Today has been a relatively quiet day, so I thought I’d stop and write a few thoughts. Yesterday we got a lot accomplished in the lab. I was quite pleased. Last night, I went with Paola and her friend, Paúl, to some sort of competition thing that UTPL puts on between its divisions. I don’t even know how to begin describing it, but it’s like the different divisions, such as biological and administrative, etc, compete in different sports. Last night was the beginning ceremony, I think. They had people dressed in costumes as mascots and everything. It was a lot of fun. Then, afterward, I went with the two to a local bar, Siempra, where we listened to live music. It was pretty cool. We met up with Paola’s sister and some friends. The person who was performing was really awesome, even though I didn’t understand what he was singing about. This language barrier thing can sometimes be a big deal lol. Oh well…
I got in at around 12 last night, but slept in a little bit this morning. That felt nice. But I’ve been dreaming a lot lately. One night it was about a fire in a multi-story building that I was trying to help get people out of, but couldn’t seem to get out of it myself. It was weird. Then last night’s dream was weird, too, but I can’t remember what it was about, just that it was weird. Maybe it’s because I’ve not been feeling all that great. I can’t seem to stop sneezing and have a stopped-up nose constantly, as well as a nagging cough. *Shrugs* Who knows? Maybe I’m still trying to get used to the weather difference here. Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous, but today has been a mixture of rain and sun. I think this is the typical weather for right now, kind of off and on. It’s really windy almost all the time, too. That part I like. J For some reason I’m super tired and it’s only 6 pm. Maybe it’s because I haven’t really done anything today, except finish my second book, “My Sister’s Keeper”, which, by the way, is an awesome book and I really want to see the movie now. I’m interested to see how they develop the story line since it goes all over the place. If anyone happens to see it before I get back to the States, let me know how it is, please. Other than that, I’ve been relaxing all day, watching a little bit of some movies in Spanish and now listening to music. Exciting, huh? Haha….

Sunday, June 7
There’s not much to talk about today. I woke up this morning feeling like death warmed over… stupid cold. I ate some breakfast (“humita”), which was good, then came back to my room. My stomach was upset, too. The family went to church, but I stayed behind because I really felt like I was going to vomit. Not a good feeling let me tell you. So finally I took some Benadryl that I brought with me and crashed, hoping that it would clear up my head some. It worked for a while, but I still have that swimmy head feeling that comes along with a cold. I just ate supper and now feel sick at my stomach again. I don’t know what’s going on, but I really don’t like it. I’ll probably have to break out the Pepto in a while. Ugh!
I’ve also been dealing with this horrible feeling of sadness all day. I’m not sure what the deal is with that. I think it’s just because I don’t feel well, and it’s been raining and chilly all day. Not a good combination for the mood. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Right now I hear the sounds of the family cheering as they watch a soccer game. Ecuador vs. Peru. Last I heard, Ecuador was winning, and from the sound of things, it’s still going well. Anyway, I think I need to go get some meds now and hope my stomach stops churning.
Yay for Pepto! My stomach is still iffy but I don’t feel like I could vomit at any second! (Wasn’t that just the bit of information you needed to read? Lol) Anyway, Marquito (this is the correct spelling, or so I’m told – you can never tell with this foreign languages), the youngest, talked me into playing checkers and chess with him. It was fun. I haven’t played either in a long time. The little fella is good at chess. The game lasted for a while. I’m very surprised, for him being so young. After that, we watched the end of Stuart Little. I never noticed before, but the father in that movie is Hugh Laurie (a.k.a. House)!!!! It’s odd seeing him in a loving role. So not my House….. Well, it’s late, I’m cold, and the bed is calling my name. I’m going to go try to get warm, thinking warm thoughts of a natural heater cuddled next to me (hey, I’m single, I can do that :-P ). Good night. Sweet dreams all.

A couple more days

Tuesday, June 2
So today was my first day actually working on some things in the lab. I harvested some crystals from some fractions of elution that Paola’s boss had collected while she was gone. Not glamorous work, but I like it. J Thursday we will do TLC (thin-layer chromatography) with the samples to see what they might possibly contain. I can honestly say that I’ve never worked in a lab where I had to be so precise (except maybe Quant lab, but even then it wasn’t as precise as this). But I like what I’m doing. It seems easy enough, just a lot of work, which is fine with me.
Tomorrow I am going to a place called Yangana, where the plant that I’m extracting is found. Which, if I haven’t mentioned it before, G. verrucosa (I think I spelled that right) has been found to have very good antibacterial properties. But I won’t go into that right now. So anyway, I get to spend the day out in the field collecting plants in a new place. Fun, huh? I’ll try to take as many pictures as possible.
Tonight when I got back to the house, Mercedes made me a sandwich for supper and then made some tea for me. We were all talking last night and they asked what I liked to drink and I told them that usually I drink tea, so they went out and got some instant tea mix for me. That was so sweet of them! I found out that they like it as well, so that’s good too. J
Now I’m in my room listening to some music on my computer and thinking that I’m so tired (it’s only 9 pm haha). I’ve been sneezing all day for some reason and have had a random cough for most of the day. And I’ve been cold off and on all day, which is not a good sign. I’m hoping that it’s just the weather. It’s been rainy and windy today, and rather chilly. I think the dampness is just getting to my allergies. At least I hope that’s all it is. I don’t really have time to be sick right now. But, it might surprise you to know that I’m in my sweat pants (the really thick once lined with fleece type stuff), underneath a thick blanket, and am still cold. Crazy, huh? Maybe I should just go to sleep and hope to feel better in the morning. Sounds like a good idea to me. Oh, side note: I’m reading a book called “Completely His: Loving Jesus Without Limits” by Shannon Ethridge. It is so good! I highly recommend it to any woman. In fact, this book is the beginning of a series (4 or 5 part) of devotional or study group type of books. I’m seriously thinking about getting a group of girls at the school together to do the devotional with me when I get back. I think it would be very beneficial. But that was a very random side note lol. Time for sleep! Good night and much love!

Wednesday, June 3
Today has been an exhausting day. The stupid rooster outside decided to wake me up at around 4:30 am (I’m only guessing cuz I didn’t have my watch by me, but I turned on my phone after listening to that crazy bird for a while and it was only 5:00 am). So I tossed and turned for the rest of the time until I woke up at 6. I took a taxi by myself to UTPL, and it was a trip, let me tell ya. Throwing me in a cab with a limited amount of Spanish knowledge… well, it was funny. The cabbie laughed at me! But I made it to where I was going with no hitch. I met up with Paola at 7:30 am to go on my first trip to collect plants. It was so much fun! We went with two guys in the lab, Eduardo and Jose Miguel. Both are very friendly guys. I took some pictures when we got to the different places. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any of the scenery as we were driving because, again, crazy drivers! But it was a fun day. I actually climbed up part of a mountain! And then, I had Eduardo laughing at me because there was a freakin’ huge spider on me and it freaked me out lol. I don’t like spiders….
Anyway, we made it back to UTPL at 4 pm, and I helped put G. verrucosa in the plant drying room. Then came back to the house where I’ve been cleaning up my room and doing some laundry since then. Oh, laundry… let me tell ya, I have a new appreciation for a dryer. Dryers are very uncommon in Ecuador; you wash the clothes and then hang them to dry. So most of my clothes are hanging out to dry. I just hope that they’re dry by tomorrow evening. I need clothes to wear! Haha… I should not wait this long. Although it really hasn’t been that long, I just didn’t bring many clothes with me so that I would have room to bring back souvenirs. Blasted things! Speaking of which, I haven’t gotten any yet. I hope to pick up some random things during my time here. Anything that “screams” someone’s name at me.
I ate some “papas fritas” (fries) today. It’s the first time I’ve had anything fried in quite some time. My stomach is definitely paying for it tonight. Ugh! But I have been caffeine free for a week! That’s an amazing feat for me! Hmm… what else? This afternoon I have been insanely homesick. I’m not sure why, but I have been. Oh well, I’m sure it will come and go over the next 6 weeks. I should arrive in Little Rock on July 17, if anyone’s interested, assuming all goes well. Until then, I’ll be thinking about all of you! Love you! Night!

Some Pictures. For more, look on facebook :)

Monday, June 1

Today was a very good day. I actually woke up at 5:30 am. Yes, that’s right, 5:30 am. Daggum rooster! Haha… I stayed in bed until 6:30, but it’s all good. Paola came and picked me up to go to UTPL. The campus is so beautiful! We walked around and she showed me all of the buildings this morning. Unfortunately I forgot the camera, but I will try to sneak out some time and take some when I think about it. I met with her boss, too. He’s a very nice man. Paola told me that he is a missionary from Colombia who has been here for about 7 years. UTPL is a Catholic University and its Chancellor is a priest. He wasn’t on campus today, so I didn’t get to meet him, but he should be back on Wednesday and Thursday, so I hope to meet him then. Everyone I met was so kind and friendly! I helped a couple of the Chemical Engineers who work in an Analytical Chemistry lab with their English today. They are both taking their first English class and have an exam in 3 weeks, so I told them I would help as much as possible. I think we have a daily “session” set. Sounds like fun to me!
I toured the different labs today and they are so big! I’m used to small labs, but these are massive and so clean and white! Haha… very good technology, too. We’re talking GC machines (gas chromatography), IR, atomic absorption, you name it. I’m very impressed. One of the guys that works in the Cellular/Molecular/Biochem lab was telling me about all of the things that they do and it sounds absolutely awesome! I think if anyone from UAMS were to ask me today what I thought about starting up an exchange program with UTPL, I would probably just go overboard with enthusiasm. It really is amazing the things that they are doing here. Very advanced. Anyone who is serious about research really would benefit from coming here for a few months. Ok, so now I feel like I’m gushing lol.
Next week I get to start going out and collecting plants. We’re going to different places around Loja and neighboring provinces. Don’t worry, my camera will be with me. Oh, if you haven’t noticed already, I’ve added some pictures to facebook, so be sure to check them out! I’ll try to update that as much as possible too.
It gets so dark here by 7 pm. I’m not used to that. I walked out of the lab around 6:40 pm or so and it was dark and my brain decided it was time to sleep. This is crazy! Oh, today was a gorgeous day, by the way. Overcast with some sun every once in a while, a steady breeze, and a gorgeous 60-ish degrees. Perfection! Oh, one more thing… Rodnie called me tonight… I’m gonna beat him! But I also thank God that he did. It was nice to hear a familiar voice. And talking to Jeremiah on facebook earlier brought me back to a bit of “normalcy”. It’s amazing the little things you miss when you turn your world upside down lol. Crazy crazy! Well, I’m tired and have a slight headache now. I think I’m going to get ready for bed, read a little bit of the information Paola gave me, and get myself some sleep.

First Days

Since I can’t get on the computer and update as often as I would like, I thought I would keep a journal about what’s going on day by day and just keep it under little sections within each blog. What does that mean for you? Each blog will be long… yes, I said long. But this is my life as I know it right now, so enjoy!

Thursday, May 28
The flight from Little Rock to Houston was rather uneventful – a typical flight. I sat next to a pilot who was on his way to Houston for his annual certification classes. He was a very nice man (beautiful gray-blue eyes) who had been a pilot for 20 years – he did NOT look that old! We had a good conversation, as far as conversations with complete strangers on a plane can go. Oh! The actual pilot for the plane was a hottie! ß yes, I had to put that in there… J
Anyway, Paola (my travel companion and advisor while I am in Ecuador) and I made it to Houston, where we had a 4 hour, 45 minute layover… one of the longest I’ve ever had! But all was well. We talked about different things for this summer. It was good.
The flight to Quito, Ecuador, was 5 HOURS LONG!!!! We left Houston at 6 pm and finally arrived in Quito at 11 pm (good thing it’s the same time zone or that would’ve been some kind of screwed up). During the flight they served a meal (hamburger and salad) that I thought was decent but it turned out that my stomach did not really care for plane food. I’m still not quite back to normal again after that haha. The in-flight movie was “Marley & Me”. It was the first time I had seen it and it was sooooo good! I had to stop watching at the end because it was making me cry! I know, I’m pitiful lol. The plus side was that I got a little bit of sleep on the plane. YAY!
Anyway, so we made it to Quito at 11 pm, then had to go through immigration and customs. The line was so long! It took us 2 hours (dos horas) to get completely through. CRAZY! The original plan was for us to stay the night in the airport and fly to Loja, Ecuador, in the morning (around 6 am or so). Instead, a friend of Paola’s met us and took us back to his parents’ house in Quito for the night. Needless to say, I was very ready for bed.

Friday, May 29
Sleep was fitful. I think I was too exhausted, if that’s even possible. I woke this morning to the sounds of cars rushing by outside the window (Quito is a very packed city). I went downstairs to find that Paúl, Paola’s friend, had made a rather large breakfast for all of us. I don’t eat much breakfast, so it was difficult for me to eat as much as I did (and that really wasn’t that much). It was quite good, though. After breakfast, he took Paola and me around Quito, to El Centro de Historica. Here we toured a few Catholic cathedrals – very elaborate and exquisite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take any pictures inside the cathedrals, but I snapped a few of the outsides. I would’ve taken more pictures of Quito, but the cabbies there are INSANE!!!!! You think people in LR are bad? They’re the safest, best drivers in the world compared to these people! I feared for my life… on more than one occasion. Anyway, a good time was had by all in Quito. J
Paola and I left Quito at 4:30 pm and arrived in Catamayo, a town ~30 minutes from Loja, at 5:30 pm, where we met her father (a very nice man). This plane ride was pretty awesome. I sat next to a guy who works at La Universidad Tecnico Particular de Loja (UTPL) – which is where I will be spending time this summer. He spoke very good English, and enjoyed the time practicing on me lol. Random (awesome) side note: he was bald with facial hair (yes, Rodnie, you know exactly what I mean). I tried to talk him into coming to the States for a visit, but don’t know if I was successful or not. We shall see. He also rode with Paola and me to Loja, so we talked for that entire time, as well. I enjoyed myself immensely!
My first view of Loja province was absolutely breathtaking. There was a lot of cloud cover and our descent was mostly gray because of it. But once we broke through, the view was amazing. “¡Que bonita!” doesn’t even begin to describe it. The mountains here are just… well, there are no words. I have a few early pictures that I was able to snap before it got too dark, but more will come. J Paola and her sister drove me around Loja this evening – it was fun, even though I am utterly exhausted. I am now staying with them for the night. I get to meet my host family tomorrow. Thus began my siete semanas (7 weeks)!

PS: I think I’m having contact withdrawals. This is pitiful lol…

Saturday, May 30
Today has been a good day. I slept fairly well last night, even though I miss my bed. After breakfast, Paola and her sister took me to meet my host family. They are very nice people, and the great thing is that their children speak English, so I don’t have to worry about communication! My room is at the top of the house. There is a beautiful view from here (I took pictures!). If my impressions serve me correctly, this family is more well-off than most. They’ve housed many students for UTPL over the last few years (one from Costa Rica, one from Michigan). <> After meeting the family, Paola took me around to some places in Loja. We saw one of the major parks – Parque de Jipiro – as well as La Puerta de la Ciudad (the Door to the City). Very beautiful old buildings. We also ate lunch while we were out. They give so much food! I’ve never been able to eat it all since I got here haha. But it was very good. Now it’s late in the evening and I’m back at mi casa, relaxing in my room. The only other person in the house is Maria Mercedes, the oldest daughter. It’s been a long day and I miss home. I think in a few days, once I get a routine down, things will be much better. I’m still very excited about being here, though!

8:00 pm
My host family is so great! They are Christians and that was one of the first things the mother, Maria, asked me tonight. I’m so glad that they are such good people. Thank you, God, for one less thing to worry about while I’m here. Mercedes is going to introduce me to some students from the US and Canada, so I’m looking forward to that. I feel at home here now. These are good people.

Sunday, May 31
This morning, I woke up and went downstairs to find Marco (the father) cooking breakfast. Breakfast consisted of moto (I’m not sure how to spell it), which is corn that has been boiled until it’s swollen and eggs and ham. It was a very good breakfast. I also had some melon/papaya juice. I haven’t been able to bring myself to try the coffee yet. I’m not sure I will, since I don’t care for hot drinks. Anyway, I went to church with the family this morning. It is very similar to a Non-Denomination church at home, so it was good. Of course, I didn’t understand much, but it was still good. I do know that the sermon was about marriage, and keeping God in the marriage and in the family. When we got home, Marco put a TV in my room so I could watch CNN while I’m here to have some connection to home. Now I’m just relaxing, writing this, and thinking about reading some. I’ve already read ¾ of a book. I’m thinking I should’ve brought more lol. Tomorrow I start working in the lab at UTPL. I’m excited about getting into research. I think it’s going to be a very good 7 weeks!

7:00 pm
Today has been a good day. After lunch, I went for a walk with Maria, Marco, and Marcito (the son). We went walking up in the mountains around the neighborhood. I think I used muscles I didn’t know I had! Lol…. Now I’m tired and sitting in my room with CNN on the TV. I never thought I would be one to watch CNN, but I guess I still surprise myself. J Heck, I climbed up part of a freakin mountain! Of course I surprise myself!
I’m adjusting very well to the difference in altitudes. I’m also learning some Spanish, which is good. I’m also helping the family to practice and learn English, so that is good as well. J I think I can pick up more with them speaking in Spanish to each other than I could at first, so that is good. I understand the conversation for the most part; I just can’t always speak it. Ahh! In time, in time, I know. So, CNN reports that GM is about to file bankruptcy in the morning… so sad. Time for a new car! Haha… If there is anything new going on with anyone reading this, please email me or comment on here so I can keep up with your lives! I can’t call. I can text, but it’s $0.50 per text, so again, you’d have to pay for it when the bill comes in lol. Neither Rodnie nor I can afford it! J Ok, I think I’m going to read for a while. I already finished the book from earlier (it was very good), so on to a new one! Much love!

Details

For anyone who wants to know, here are the basic details of my trip:

I leave May 28 and return July 17. I'll be in a place called Loja, working at a university. As of right now, I'll be spending the majority of my time in a lab doing extractions on a few plants that have shown some antibiotic properties, as well as some anti-cancer properties. I will also have the opportunity to do some plant collection, as well as spend some time in the Amazon. I really don't know any other specifics right now. I'll be sure to take as many pictures as I possibly can, and what I can't post on here I can always share when I return to the States. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to spend on the internet, so updating might be sporadic. If you wish to contact me for any reason, you can email me at ferraria86@hotmail.com. Please do not try to call or text lol. I won't be able to receive it, and if I do receive it, I'll be calling on you to pay the bill. I am still a poor student, after all :).

That's all I have for now. I'll be writing more later! Hasta luego!